objects in the rearview mirror and things too close to see

Monday, April 14, 2003

thoughts scattered across the valley depths

Comfort Found
Today I was told a truth,
Something that spoke dearly to me.
It concerned the importance
Of something not always appreciated.

The question posed concerned love
Although not in the most popular way;
It asked for the name
Of a body part most valuable.

I was sure 'twas my heart,
That source of deepest love -
But I was mistaken in point,
This was not the poser's reference.

So I pondered the worth of mind,
Whether intellect and practicality here had a role;
Yet once again I missed,
And left cut off at the knees.

Could it be arms or feet -
The sources of strength and locomotion?
True love is farther than these
And their depths are not beyond mere appearance.

And in my blind confusion
That passed in the quiet minutes
As I waited this question's answer
A deeper thought surfaced.

It proved to be right,
As the answer concurred precisely;
The answer was not found in selfish ambitions,
But on the exterior of interior - the uncold shoulder.

For what great warmth is there
In a shoulder to turn to amidst troubles
Someone to hold onto,
To help weather the storm -

To guide and comfort throughout this life.


If love is a neverending story,
I don't think that I want mine to be some hit series,
I'd rather settle for the greater quality over quantity.
The hit movie, the one-and-only
The story of one guy, one girl,
And their neverending love for each other.


And the thing that scares me most
Is that I don't even know myself anymore
And even worse than that
Is not knowing you

This divide is like nothing I've ever felt before
I just want to know why it changed
Now I've got my suspicions, they're linked to black fears.
My life has been spent convincing myself we're just friends
And I'm not sure if it's that I miss, or more,
But when that was taken from me something broke;
There's times when the change I crave brings tears to my eyes.

I want to run faster than these legs can take me,
to the middle of nowhere
And in that big and open sky cry out for you,
Emotions rolling 'cross my face
Unleashed from that place deep beneath,
Past the control, bent on my own destruction
Those controls that belong to me.

And I want to scream out,
"Is it me or is it you?"
And hear you say the words that make it right.
Because I miss what was before;
Life's empty hallways are murk in the shadows,
And without brutal honesty I flounder.

Oh, how the tides can turn,
And the scariest thing in existence
Is a pessimistic fear.

A Heart Scarred
one of the things that scares me most
is the surrender of my heart
falling endlessly into another
into a chasm which may be filled with nought
or eternal love, undying emotion

how can one find a guarantee on forever
words only say so much, yet so much
and the world misreads all that is seen
It's the unknown that keeps me up
fear of the loss of all I've imagined to be
and the possibility of finally finding something real and right

so many times a heart can be hurt
whether by another or its own self-delusions
life can be a series of facades thought up
of lusting, longing, and desire.
so much better it could be
if that one true realization was recognized at last.

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